Arbitrary policies such as straw bans or soda taxes not only impede individual choices regarding what to drink and how to drink it, but inevitably unleash a host of unintended consequences. By making soda more expensive, for instance, pop taxes may promote increased beer consumption. And Philadelphia’s soft drink tax is threatening access to healthy food by low-income inner city residents by drastically cutting profits at downtown grocery stores. The same goblin of perversity will make itself felt in the wake of a straw ban as well.